I had a delay in my treatment plan today. I couldn’t have my normal chemo treatment because this past week I had a REALLY bad outbreak of shingles. I’ve had them off and on since my treatment started but nothing like this! So, when I went for my appointment to see my doctor and was told it could make them worse and we shouldn’t do it today, my first thought was “Great! There goes my timetable!
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been very emotional and this past week I started having some other issues as well. More insomnia, fatigue, severe indigestion, swelling in my hands and feet, and joint pain to name a few. I know it’s all part of going through treatment but I’d been doing so well I guess I thought I wasn’t going to have to deal with the “normal” side effects. I know, silly and if I’m honest, more than a little arrogant! But again, I had been doing so well and was thankful to the Lord for it!
My Time Table/God’s Time Table
But about my time table. I had been counting down to when I’d be finished. My last chemo treatment was going to be on June 30th, my oldest daughter’s birthday! And I was going to celebrate! I’d already told my husband I wanted to go to my favorite Tea Room in town for lunch that day in honor of my last one! For any of you who know me, you know I LOVE my tea time and Kimmi’s Tea Room knows how to do it right! I just had 6 weeks to go and I’d be done with chemo! Just 6 weeks….until today. So much for my plans! Did you get that? MY plans. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very conscious (and thankful) about the fact that God’s in control but it never occurred to me that my treatment would be delayed. I mean, why? What good could come from it? How could it possibly glorify Him?
At first, I cried (I told you I’ve been emotional), and then I got just a little bit mad. I mean, REALLY GOD? But then, it hit me. My attitude was tankng really fast and at that point I had a choice. I could either continue to feel sorry for myself and pout the rest of the day or I could ask God what He wanted me to do. My doctor had suggested I take it easy because of my swelling and being so emotional but I knew that just sitting around watching Downton Abbey was not what I was supposed to be doing. So I prayed and He told me to write.
You see, when things don’t go as we plan, it’s natural to be disappointed but we also have to be flexible. We have to be willing to change our plans or time tables to fit God’s. James 4: 13-16 tells us we need to make sure we include God in ALL our plans because if we don’t we are being pretentious and “all such boasting is sin.”
Making and having plans is good! Nothing wrong with that at all. The problem comes when we leave out the “If it’s God’s will” part that we get in to trouble. God expects us to plan and set goals. Otherwise we just wander around aimlessly being unproductive. He tells us in first part of Proverbs 20:18 that plans are established by seeking advise but let me ask you this….who are you seeking advice from? Here’s the thing. God created us, so why wouldn’t we go to the creator when we are making our plans. There are a TON of verses that tell us He has plans for us and if we will just go to Him, He’ll tell us what those plans are and as it says in Jeremiah 29: 11-13, those “plans are to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us hope and a future”.
And I thought that’s what I’d done but when I really started thinking about it today, I realized I had just assumed there’d be no delays and I’d finish on time. Am I disappointed? Yes. Do I trust God that He knows best? YES! I’m not going to lie, I’m still hoping some how, some way, I’ll finish on by June 30th but I’m ok if it doesn’t happen because I trust God and I know He knows what He’s doing. Do I understand it? No. But I don’t have to understand it to trust Him. That’s what trust is all about. The only thing I can tell you without hesitation is that earlier today, I was a basketcase but now I have peace and I give God ALL the praise and glory for that. Has my situation changed? No, but my attitude has and that, my friend is the differnence.
What Are You Dealing With?
Have you had some setbacks in your life? Has your time table been upended? Have your plans been tossed to the wind? Have you lost your peace and joy? I get it! May I humbly suggest you check your attitude. Trust God and be flexible to HIS plans and I promise, He’ll love you through whatever it is you are going through.
If you’d like me to walk along side you through whatever it is you are going through please feel free to comment below or email me. I pray for all of you who visit me here and would consider it an honor to be able to pray specifically for your needs. As always, you can sign up to receive emails whenever anything new is published so you don’t miss a thing. Thank you for joining me today and I look forward to the next time we meet. Until then….
Blessings to you and yours,